((ãÍÈÉ ÇáÍÓä))
10-03-2009, 12:05 AM
ÇáÓáÇã Úáíßã æÑÍãÉ Çááå æÈÑßÇÊå
åÐå ãÞÊØÝÇÊ ÇÎÐÊ ãä ßÊÇÈ ÈÚäæÇä ÝæÖì Ýì ÇáãÍÇßã ÇáÇãÑíßíå æ íÐßÑ ÇáßÊÇÈ
ÚÏÏ ãä ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÇáÊì ÐßÑåÇ ÇáãÍÇãæä ÈÇáÝÚá Ýì ÞÇÚÇÊ ÇáãÍÇßã ßáãå Èßáãå ÞÇã
ÈÊÓÌíáåÇ ãæÙÝì ßÊÇÈÉ ÇáÚÏá ÇááÐíä ßÇä Úáíåã Çä íÊÍãáæÇ ÚÐÇÈ ÊÓÌíá ãËá åÐå
ÇáãÍÇÏËÇÊ ÇáÛÈíå ÛÈÇÁ áíÓ áå ãËíá
The last two are the best:
ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ÇáãÍÇãí: íÇ ÏßÊæÑ! ÃáíÓ ÕÍíÍÇ Ãä ÇáÅäÓÇä ÚäÏãÇ íãæÊ ÃËäÇÁ äæãå, áÇ íÚáã Ðáß ÅáÇ Ýí ÕÈÇÍ Çáíæã ÇáÊÇáí¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: åá ÊÎÑÌÊ ÈÇáÝÚá ãä äÞÇÈÉ ÇáãÍÇãíä¿¿¿
____________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ÇáãÍÇãí : åá ßäÊ ãæÌæÏÇõ ÈÇáÝÚá ÚäÏãÇ Êã ÊÕæíÑß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: åáÇ ÃÚÏÊ ÇáÓÄÇá¿!!
_________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ÇáãÍÇãí: áÏíåÇ ËáÇËÉ ÃØÝÇá, ÃáíÓ ßÐáß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: äÚã
ÇáãÍÇãí: ßã ßÇä áÏíåÇ ãä ÇáÈäíä¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áã íßä áÏíåÇ ÃíÉ Èäíä
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ßÇä áÏíåÇ ÈäÇÊ¿
_________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ÇáãÍÇãí: ßíÝ ÇäÊåì ÒæÇÌß ÇáÃæá¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ÈÇáæÝÇÉ
ÇáãÍÇãí: æ ÈæÝÇÉ ãä ÇäÊåì ÇáÒæÇÌ¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ÇáãÍÇãí: åáÇ æÕÝÊ áí Ðáß ÇáÔÎÕ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßÇä ãÊæÓØ ÇáØæá æßÇäÊ áå áÍíÉ.
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ßÇä ÐßÑÇð Ãã ÃäËì¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ÊÊÐßÑ ãÊì ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÇáÌËÉ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áÞÏ ÈÏÃÊ ÚãáíÉ ÊÔÑíÍ ÇáÌËÉ ãÇ íÞÇÑÈ ÇáÓÇÚÉ 8:30 ãÓÇÁÇð.
ÇáãÍÇãí: æåá ßÇä ÇáÓíÏ ÏäÊæä ãíÊÇð ÂäÐÇß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ áÞÏ ßÇä ÌÇáÓÇð Úáì ÇáØÇæáÉ ãÊÓÇÆáÇõ áãÇÐÇ ÃÞæã ÈÊÔÑíÍ ÌËÊå¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been al ive and practicing law.
ÇáãÍÇãí: íÇÏßÊæÑ, ÞÈá ÞíÇãß ÈÚãáíÉ ÇáÊÔÑíÍ, åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ äÈÖå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí : åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÖÛØ Ïãå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÊäÝÓå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: ÅÐÇð, ãä Çáããßä Ãä íßæä ÇáãÑíÖ ÍíÇð ÚäÏãÇ ÈÏÃÊ ÈÚãáíÉ ÊÔÑíÍ ÌËÊå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: æ ãÇáÐí íÌÚáß ãÊÃßÏÇð áåÐå ÇáÏÑÌÉ, íÇ ÏßÊæÑ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áÃä ãÎå ßÇä Úáì ØÇæáÊí ãæÖæÚÇõ Ýí Þäíäå.
ÇáãÍÇãí: æáßä ãÚ Ðáß åäÇß ÇÍÊãÇá Ãä íßæä ÇáãÑíÖ áÇÒÇá ÍíÇð¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: äÚã , ãä Çáããßä Çäå ßÇä ÍíÇð æíãÇÑÓ ãåäÉ ÇáãÍÇãÇÉ
ãÇ ÃÛÈÇßã ÝÚáÇ
:):):)
åÐå ãÞÊØÝÇÊ ÇÎÐÊ ãä ßÊÇÈ ÈÚäæÇä ÝæÖì Ýì ÇáãÍÇßã ÇáÇãÑíßíå æ íÐßÑ ÇáßÊÇÈ
ÚÏÏ ãä ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÇáÊì ÐßÑåÇ ÇáãÍÇãæä ÈÇáÝÚá Ýì ÞÇÚÇÊ ÇáãÍÇßã ßáãå Èßáãå ÞÇã
ÈÊÓÌíáåÇ ãæÙÝì ßÊÇÈÉ ÇáÚÏá ÇááÐíä ßÇä Úáíåã Çä íÊÍãáæÇ ÚÐÇÈ ÊÓÌíá ãËá åÐå
ÇáãÍÇÏËÇÊ ÇáÛÈíå ÛÈÇÁ áíÓ áå ãËíá
The last two are the best:
ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ÇáãÍÇãí: íÇ ÏßÊæÑ! ÃáíÓ ÕÍíÍÇ Ãä ÇáÅäÓÇä ÚäÏãÇ íãæÊ ÃËäÇÁ äæãå, áÇ íÚáã Ðáß ÅáÇ Ýí ÕÈÇÍ Çáíæã ÇáÊÇáí¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: åá ÊÎÑÌÊ ÈÇáÝÚá ãä äÞÇÈÉ ÇáãÍÇãíä¿¿¿
____________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ÇáãÍÇãí : åá ßäÊ ãæÌæÏÇõ ÈÇáÝÚá ÚäÏãÇ Êã ÊÕæíÑß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: åáÇ ÃÚÏÊ ÇáÓÄÇá¿!!
_________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ÇáãÍÇãí: áÏíåÇ ËáÇËÉ ÃØÝÇá, ÃáíÓ ßÐáß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: äÚã
ÇáãÍÇãí: ßã ßÇä áÏíåÇ ãä ÇáÈäíä¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áã íßä áÏíåÇ ÃíÉ Èäíä
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ßÇä áÏíåÇ ÈäÇÊ¿
_________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ÇáãÍÇãí: ßíÝ ÇäÊåì ÒæÇÌß ÇáÃæá¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ÈÇáæÝÇÉ
ÇáãÍÇãí: æ ÈæÝÇÉ ãä ÇäÊåì ÇáÒæÇÌ¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ÇáãÍÇãí: åáÇ æÕÝÊ áí Ðáß ÇáÔÎÕ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßÇä ãÊæÓØ ÇáØæá æßÇäÊ áå áÍíÉ.
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ßÇä ÐßÑÇð Ãã ÃäËì¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ÊÊÐßÑ ãÊì ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÇáÌËÉ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áÞÏ ÈÏÃÊ ÚãáíÉ ÊÔÑíÍ ÇáÌËÉ ãÇ íÞÇÑÈ ÇáÓÇÚÉ 8:30 ãÓÇÁÇð.
ÇáãÍÇãí: æåá ßÇä ÇáÓíÏ ÏäÊæä ãíÊÇð ÂäÐÇß¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ áÞÏ ßÇä ÌÇáÓÇð Úáì ÇáØÇæáÉ ãÊÓÇÆáÇõ áãÇÐÇ ÃÞæã ÈÊÔÑíÍ ÌËÊå¿
_________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been al ive and practicing law.
ÇáãÍÇãí: íÇÏßÊæÑ, ÞÈá ÞíÇãß ÈÚãáíÉ ÇáÊÔÑíÍ, åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ äÈÖå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí : åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÖÛØ Ïãå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: åá ÞãÊ ÈÝÍÕ ÊäÝÓå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: ÅÐÇð, ãä Çáããßä Ãä íßæä ÇáãÑíÖ ÍíÇð ÚäÏãÇ ÈÏÃÊ ÈÚãáíÉ ÊÔÑíÍ ÌËÊå¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: ßáÇ
ÇáãÍÇãí: æ ãÇáÐí íÌÚáß ãÊÃßÏÇð áåÐå ÇáÏÑÌÉ, íÇ ÏßÊæÑ¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: áÃä ãÎå ßÇä Úáì ØÇæáÊí ãæÖæÚÇõ Ýí Þäíäå.
ÇáãÍÇãí: æáßä ãÚ Ðáß åäÇß ÇÍÊãÇá Ãä íßæä ÇáãÑíÖ áÇÒÇá ÍíÇð¿
ÇáÔÇåÏ: äÚã , ãä Çáããßä Çäå ßÇä ÍíÇð æíãÇÑÓ ãåäÉ ÇáãÍÇãÇÉ
ãÇ ÃÛÈÇßã ÝÚáÇ
:):):)